Tuesday, August 10, 2010

"Finished Egg"

Welcome to the world of a Missionary. You've been there before, all of you. Even I have. At home, at school, at work, on vacation, if you've been living right, you feel the feelings missionaries do. Not exactly the same, and not near to the same level most of the time, but close enough. I can't even begin to imagine how Mothers' must feel all the time. And I'm a Missionary! I have WAY too much to do, WAY to much to think about, and NO time to do it. It's one of those times when you wish the days were longer, and then as soon as you think that, you're unbelievably grateful they're not. Have I ever told you how I love sleep? OHHH... the best blessing Heavenly Father could give anyone is to give them the ability to sleep, but then, at the same time, if I didn't have to, I could get so much more done! Yeah right, I don't care if I don't need it, I'm sleeping in Heaven. 'Cause that IS heaven. Sigh....
The next best part would be the saving souls thing, and the baptisms, and the people who don't reject you, and the miracles you see everyday in people's lives... I still like sleep. ;)
Of course, everything is fine. My parents know me just as well as they did before, and I'm just happy to feel closer to you guys than I ever have before. Yes, I've been trunky, yes, I've been homesick, yes, I've been trunky... (did I say that twice?) and, yes, I've failed. THAT is the best part. When you FAIL, Heavenly Father has the BEST way of letting you know that it's a good thing. He tried to tell me through my parents for the first 19 years of my life (which I wasted) that failure is a good thing, and I just wouldn't accept it. Well, if you don't accept it here, you're "wandanle" which means "finished egg" in Chinese. In other words... you're-ugh, can't say it, I'm gonna say a quick prayer to repent for thinking it... :)
But anyway, you get the point. This last week was a little tougher than I've thought before, and I've let myself do things I didn't want to. Elder Pei got sick, and that was NOT fun. Just sitting in the apartment all day making calls from 10:30 to 6:00 at night. At least there was success from that. But you know me, I would've gotten up and gone anyway, but I forgot what feeling sick feels like, since I haven't been really sick for a long time... so I didn't say anything. I just shared some inspired scriptures with him, bore testimony, prayed my heart out, and hoped that Heavenly Father could take care of the rest.
He did. Lol, He always does! "Danglan!" lol, that means "of course!" or "duh!"
I guess I can accept what Mom says when she says my Chinese is improving and I don't even know it. 'Cause I can NOT see it improving at all right now. In fact it feels like its digressing, not progressing. But, that's because I have a companion who speaks it perfect, so... yeah. I still have my days when I can not understand a single word! I hate those days, SO discouraging!! Ahhhh! But then the next day I can go on for a half hour telling a story.
Elder Pei has been teaching me to take it easy. I'm so nervous, and stressed all the time about getting baptisms, because I don't want the older missionaries to think I'm a bad missionary. Lol, baptisms do not measure success. They are a result of success, if Heavenly Father wills it. Elder Krantz had 0 baptisms his first move call; I still can't decide if that makes it harder or easier. Probably about the same. :P
Having Elder Pei sick for two days tested my patience. But here's a cool thing. I can see Heavenly Father in my life so much better now. I study one Christlike attribute, specifically, every move call. This one is patience. For some reason, I knew I'd need it... :P And I'm being tested on patience this move call. In varying amounts, but in ways I never thought I'd have a problem. And it worries my for my future, why would I need to be patient in this kind of trial? What kind of experiences are ahead? Lol
When you focus on any one attribute or any thing specifically, you tend to see the effects of it more in your life anyway, so that's one reason I am having trials and things with patience everywhere now.
Life's good. Sorry this email came a little late, but my Taiwanese companion likes eating too much and we had to go get food, and then go straight to lunch to eat until 3. Soooo, sorry. :D
What else...
Chen Zhao Yuan is quickly progressing towards baptism. He came to our morning session of Church on Sunday, and then said that he wanted to see what singles' ward was like. So he came to that, too. 6 hours of church! Blech. Love ya, Heavenly Father, but 6 hours? Only on my mission... now that I say that... I change my mind. I love church!! :D I'll go for a whole week! Yeah! I love it! (please don't give me a calling when I get home that makes me be at church for 6 hours, please don't, please don't, please don't.... ) Ahem. Sorry. :) I do the will of God, and that is my work. Obedience. ;)
I love the pictures, and I hope everyone enjoys their trip down to Cali! Except Mom. Mom, you are too hard working. I would not be able to do that. Not if I could go see Mike and the Guads. Uh-uh. Make sure everyone knows that I love them. I can usually only get letters out to Mom, Dad, and Shelbs, and I'm trying for everyone else. They're coming. I promise! I love you all, I haven't forgotten you. :D
Miss ya! Telling me names of movies and who's in them is great... but don't tell me too much about what's in them. That makes me unbelievably trunky. (Trunky is a term missionaries use that means they are thinking about when their missions are done and they can pack their bags and head home) Movies are the soft spot, I guess ;P. But I still want to hear what comes out. Make a list!
Love you all, enjoy the next part of all of our lives, and make it a blast! I'm still gonna have hard spots, and so are you. Help me help you help me help you get through it all together! Heaven knows I need all of your support and faith. And, I, in turn, support you and pray for you everyday, along with our investigators. Like Zhang Shu Wei. He has officially disappeared off the map. So sad. I have no idea where he is. And his cell phone is always off. But God knows, so I put my trust in God.
Love ya!! Another letter soon, with Shelb's birthday gift, and Mom... I hope a letter is ok for a little bit... :) Sorry. I don't know what you'd like that you could use! It's all useless junk here. The stuff I have I'll bring home with me to give you. Hope that's ok, no super special gifts for my Momma. Sorry. Working on it.

-Elder Carter

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